Trusting Ourselves

Often, when we feel lost or in some sort of pain, we have to rely on ourselves to get out of it.  Often, it is the lack of trust in ourselves that keeps us stuck there longer than we have to be.  We look for permission in others to tell us that our decision is the right one, that we are choosing correctly.  We hand over the resolution of what’s best for us to someone who is probably just as lost as we are.

Learning to trust ourselves means relying on ourselves to make the best choice for ourselves, even if it turns out to be the wrong decision.  If it’s wrong, you just choose again, and then keep choosing until you find your way out.  What you will discover that this process, while often longer, gives us experience and wisdom.  We learn that life is not meant to be straight and narrow and that it is, instead, meant to be a winding journey.  Once we accumulate knowledge along the way, we never need to walk down that path without a map.  We have added a new tool to our toolbox.

I have learned advice isn’t really worth much.  This is not to say that you don’t call on support when you are really having a hard time.  Sure, if you get a tire stuck in the mud you may be able to get out yourself, but certainly can get out quicker with a tow truck and someone who has experience getting a tire stuck out of the mud.  However, being a bit co-dependent by nature, myself, I always thought that when a friend was in need I had to run to their rescue and save them.  Yet, I’ve found that you usurp the opportunity for that person to work out and grow from their own problem by trying to fix them. Problems and suffering are not just here to give us a hard time, they are here to help us grow.  Trust that you and/or your friends are capable of that.  I’ve learned that the best sort of support I can give someone is just to let them know that they are not alone when they are working through something, and to let them understand that I believe in their ability to find their way.    For me, someone listening intently to me when I talk about something I am struggling with means a lot more than someone giving me tons of advice about how to fix it.  I can trust myself to find my way out and you can to.

With love,
The Dancing Shiva